I think I may be crazy

This is a question, statement, exclamation that I have considered and discussed with my friends many times before.  I’m around 98.67% sure I am nuts.  Then I wonder, do crazy people know they’re crazy or do they think they’re sane? The next thought is “Of course they don’t think they’re crazy! They think they’re sane....right?” It’s this circular reasoning that gets me all sorts of confused and then I just resign to the fact that I am, indeed, bat shit crazy.

Now you would think this may upset me or lead me to change my insane ways but, nay, I embrace it. I think if you can accept your crazy and just go with it, it’s less imposing to others...I think.

The following are examples of my insanity and my complete embracing of it:


I am an AWFUL person.  I don’t mean this in a self degrading way, but I mean it in truth.  I think awful things and most often say them but I find them funny.  Some people don’t.  I was having a conversation with a good friend the other day about an event that occurred.  In said event most people would be embarrassed or very consoling, but no...not me.  I just straight up asked the first question on my mind, “That’s it huh?”  Thank God I surround myself with people who love my blunt demeanor versus being offended because that could have gone SO POORLY.  Sane individuals have some form of social cues and I seem to be devoid of a lot of those aforementioned cues.

I have a wedding pinterest board.  Yep.  I said it.  I admit it.  It’s full of giant rings, cakes, flowers etc that at this point is nothing more than delusions of grandure due to the fact that I am single.  A lot of girls have them and don’t think its odd at all but if I were a guy I would be scared shitless.  Seeing all of these pinned expectations and desires is enough for any man to want to cheat on you with some low rent slut that only wants to dye her hair bleach blonde with brown as dirt roots.  She only needs some bleach and Wal Mart jewelry.  “What’s DSW,” she may ask as she tweets her feelings on her gaudy blinded out cell phone.  Even though the wedding pinterest board is in direct correlation with my failed relationships, I cannot and will not give it up.  That’s nuts.

I have recently decided that I am going to try to go Paleo.  I think that is enough of humor in and of itself that I do not need to explain my insanity any further.

I wrote this entire post while listening to Marry Me by Jason Derulo on repeat. Cool

Eat the chips, drink the wine,
S

Hey, y'all, I'm not dead

It's been a hot second since I have written anything.  A few reasons:
 1.  See prior post
 2. I've had too many feelings and not enough time to sit and write about them so I just drank them
 3. See prior excuses

  So the last two weeks, I have been in attempts to drown in work and wine.  Seemed like a legit thing to do.  I have been on a few dates but that is a conversation for another time and another place. Let's talk about things I have eaten and weird sh*t that has happened to me at work.

Let's start with work.  Saw a patient who legit went to the "chiropractor" and was told to hold a piece of copper which would then shorten the effected leg....Ok.... When the woman told us that she took this kid there, I kid you not, we all started laughing at her. She was not pleased.  It was in that moment that I could truly grasp what morons the world possesses.  The woman looked sane.  Normal clothes, normal attitude, then WHAM COPPER VOODOO LOVER.  I just don't know.  Maybe you're into all of the CAM (complimentary alternative medicine) (I sound SO smart), but it's just for the birds if you ask me and since you're on my blog you have probably some interest in my smart ass comments.

Let's move to eating and drinking away my feelings, which is super mentally healthy.  Guy I have been on a few dates with brought me food from his fancy I have a job work dinner.  Here is the roster of amazing food from Del Frisco's (since I didn't go I won't pretend to know what it looked like in there but he went in a tie and slacks so it seems way beyond my realm of eating knowledge) Steak, and I mean a GIANT steak, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, caesar salad (I know it's a super fancy place when there are anchovies in the to-go box, amazing yet disgusting), sweet potato fries and this dessert that was, no lie, bigger than my fist.  It was white chocolate, coconut, pie thingy goodness and it's still in my fridge (half of it) and is calling my name now that I am talking about it.  One true way to really try to impress me is to feed me.  Easy enough. This guy just nailed it out of the park.  He could have asked me to do anything and I would've for the steak solely.  If that makes me a food slut, I don't want to be right.

Next foodgasm: I have had In-&-Out and I have seen the Jesus of the fast food hamburger.  Was it just a hamburger you ask. Yes. But what is so special you may say.  I CANT EXPLAIN IT! But I cant wait to go back.

One more food event.  I went to a Greek cafe tonight by myself.  Zorba's is right down the street from my I-may-get-stabbed-holy-hell-get-up-the-elevator suit super fancy abode and I have been having a stuffed grape leaves craving like none other.  So I went by myself and I loved every second of it.  I am around 86% sure that people felt bad for me but nay, I say, nay.  I felt bad for them.  I ordered what I wanted and judged the hell out of everyone.  Impressively, I was please with what I saw around me.  Families, dates, and just people enjoying each other in this adorable homey style restaurant that served AMAZING Greek food.

After I left Zorba's I drove around for a bit and realized that I am happy just by myself out here.  I get to do what I want, when I want and I am starting to feel like an adult.  Texas kind of has captured my heart and makes me want to actually come back here to possibly live.

Well see if I feel like that a month from now but until then I'll just drink and keep on keeping on.

Eat the gyros, and grape leaves, and greek potatoes....and drink the wine,
S